I was listening to a song the other day by Kenny Chesney. The song is called “Save it for a rainy day.” I certainly know that my situation was not a unique one. I know that what I had gone through with my break up was just like everyone else. However, it was not until the line “When I turned the ignition I knew id be missing the feel of the wind in my face I was stuck in a habit of wondering what happened ‘too busy taking all the blame'” that it hit me. For the majority of the time that I have been separated from my ex I have been taking all the blame. I have been shouldering the weight for two.
What is the problem with shouldering the weight for two? Well too start it is never 100% someones fault. There is always things that each of the partners could have done better. So taking that weight keeps you from moving on because you begin to think that you are flawed more than you are. You begin to believe that you may never be good enough for anyone. You begin to believe that you are not worthy of a second opportunity. The other big problem is life tends to pass right by you. While you are stuck in a rut, working, hiding, living through your children alone the land of opportunity starts flying by. There is definitely a reason for that as well.
When you start every sentence with my ex this and my ex that people turn and run. Especially when it has been nearly six years. Six years later you better have moved on and Kenny Chesny summed this up nice when he said, “My friends are all out and they’re all too high too be bringing em down if they ask about you I have nothing to say I’ll save it for a rainy day.” I find that happening sometimes. I learn to move on and leave her out of all the conversation but then someone asks and I start in. Ive worked really hard to make that a one word answer and move forward. I am done and would be totally done with no fall back if it were not for the kids. The thing is we are tied together forever but the contact can be minimal.
The only thing about the song that I will choose a different explanation on is I will not save it for a rainy day. I have had too many sunny days feel like a down pour because I was sad over something that was over. I am happy that I am at a point that I really truly feel comfortable moving on. It takes a long time for some and others it happens fast. I was overhearing someone talk about their ex today and some of the things they want to do for revenge. I remember those stages of hurt. It was while listening to that I really realized I am in a really good place with it. It was then that I told myself wow I remember being there and he/she is definitely not ready for a new relationship. This person still needs time. The discernment of situations like these was the final confirmation of where I stand.
I am no longer shouldering the weight for two. If this is something you are doing or have done fight to realize that pinpointing g the blame is never clear cut. No matter the circumstance. Even if someone did something that warrants 100% of the blame you will imprison yourself trying to prove that. You will harbor emotions that weigh you down in the process. The sooner we realize that 2 parties existed and that did not work out we can begin to go and mature for the next opportunity. It feels nice to finally have a heart that is open to the possibilities that may exist.