Friendshift…………it’s not a typo

“Hey Bro, how are you doing?” they say. “it’s been a while since we have talked so I thought I would give you a call. I miss you.” The conversation goes on like this for a few minutes and then they begin. They begin to tell you everything that they wanted you to know has been going on. They may be trying to hint at something, politely insult you, or maybe they wanted to call and brag a little. Maybe they wanted some feedback on whether it was the right move or choice they made. Who knows why but you know the feeling you get as they speak. You listen intently and talk as though it has not been months. You carry on like you used to even though both or one of you is most likely very different from before. You feel yourself tempted to slip into the old talk or dialect that was something you did with this friend in high school. Maybe it’s a curse word or maybe it’s making fun of others because that used to be “cool.” All you know is that on the inside you can feel the difference even when it is easy for it to feel like old times.

As the friend gets to the point that they are done with what they wanted to accomplish you begin to tell them a little about what you have been up to they instantly shut down. They insult, are unsympathetic or simply show quickly they do not care. Feeling this way is a crappy feeling but you get the hint and you begin to change the conversation. This is about that time the “friend” says to you, “I know your a busy man so I will let you go. I just wanted to say hello and see how you were. Maybe someday if you have some time you can swing by and say hello to the family.” You say your goodbyes and you hang up the phone feeling a little sad that a friendship that was once so very sacred to you has simply dissolved. It is possible that you are the caller or that you played a major role in this whole thing. Maybe they tried over the years to reach out and you ignored it. Maybe you ignored it because you knew that you would behave differently. Maybe you knew that you would slip into an old you that you did not like and don’t want to be anymore. Maybe you never wanted to have the conversation that your no longer the way you were knowing that they would not like you any other way. Maybe it is the natural progression of some relationships. They simply play their course in your history and shape the person you become but they end. It’s what happens. I guess we could all sit and speculate to the why’s and how’s of this phenomenon. We could all try to figure out why friendships fade. We could all speculate on why this person that used to care so much doesn’t even want the cliff note version of your current story. I mean I am sure they are caught up to speed on your life through friends of friends that feel the same way or have watched you on Facebook. The ones that think they know whats going on when truly its all just what they derived from reading posts.

I don’t know. You may think that this post is coming from a bitter person but truly I am just trying to see it for what it truly is. It’s the Friendshift…………….yep a truly made up word that simply highlights that over the years you will have some friends that stay tried and true, some will fade, some will remain but the times you talk will be few, and then you will meet new friends. You will meet new people that become some of the greatest friends you know. The  Friendshift is merely a natural progression on this journey called life.


If you have experienced a Friendshift and would like to share your experience do not hesitate to do so in the comments. I’d love to hear your take.

Mathew Freeman

“Simply Start and Start Simply”