Absolute Attraction = Absolutely no Physical Characteristics

Ok, so I decided to take a little informal poll today to see what characteristics produce absolute attraction. This is not an exhaustive study and I did not poll 100 people or more. I simply put it out there on Instagram and Facebook and waited on a little feedback. I had hypothesized that I would not get anyone that would describe physical characteristics as a response to attraction. Maybe it was the way that I worded the question,  who knows, but other than two playful answers I was right.

You see I work in an industry that is driven by our external looks. Many of the individuals when they first set foot in the gym are hoping to change their appearance. Many times the desire for this change is so that they may feel more confident, love themselves more, to get back at an ex, or because they are simply not happy or satisfied where they stand. Let me insert a disclaimer here and state that I am not saying this is bad or wrong. I am simply stating this as fact for my business over the years and for myself. I too am a client. I decided from the beginning that I would build my practice or allow God to build my business through me focusing on the mental aspects. I believe that if we develop belief in ourselves, contentment and acceptance of our current state and understand that we are attractive right now or can be then the game is on. Generally that starts with someone else having some belief in us until we begin to see what they see but not always. Sometimes it starts from some heartfelt emotion that has awaken us.

Anyway let’s get back to the point. I took the poll and the results were the following:

Integrity, Authenticity, Playfulness, Inspiring(2), Passionate(2), Honest(4), Open(2), Wise, God Loving(3), Committed to Growth(4), Compassionate(2), Appreciative(2), SUGAR DADDY, Listens, No expectations, Sense of Humor(6), Confident(2), Goal Oriented(2), Humble, Affectionate, Kind, Strong(2), Motivated, and Active. Some of these may be similar but you can see the tops were sense of humor, Committed to growth, Honest, and God Loving.

Each and every individual responded with characteristics that are derived from within. None of the characteristics represent external beauty. They are all qualities of someone that loves themselves and lets the world see their gifts. All are qualities that require maturity in my eyes. We are not all perfect and we may aim to get healthier and by result get more fit looking. I understand that but in the end the reason that someone really steps up and talks to you and continues to talk to you more importantly is because you possess internal qualities that shine outwardly. For me this occurs when I allow the Holy Spirit to guide my day. I feel that I possess a lot more of these qualities or reveal a lot less of the not so attractive qualities when what I do and say comes from the gut. I feel that my relationships will be longer lasting if the reason that the person is attracted to me is not because I have a six pack, can lift weight or have green eyes……….We all want relationships with substance and width. Relationships with substance and width dive way deeper that looks.


I love exercise because it leads to accomplishment. It causes hormones in our bodies to wake up leading to bigger smiles. It changes our shape but it does not shape us. Our shaping is internal. When we develop the insides first the outsides follow. When we strive so hard for the outside many times the inside hollows. You see changing the inside always results in a better outside but only sometimes does changing the outside result in internal change for the good. I am a man of odds. I like when  I can get as close to a sure thing as possible. The only sure thing in this life  in my belief is that God loves me. Aside from that I know that if I work on myself internally things can only get better.

I think that is what the poll takers were saying. Someone that knows who they are and is not afraid to show it. Someone who will travel against the flow of traffic without blinking an eye (by the way I did this in San Francisco at the bachelor part and I was sober, total accident). Someone can see what you have on the inside and appreciate it for all that you are. I asked about absolute attraction and I think that many of you responded with what attracts you to the opposite sex but I think that this goes for friendship as well. I want my friends to be all the above qualities because I know being friends with people like this will bring out only the best in me.

Today’s Takeaway: Beauty and attraction begin from the inside. It is not what you look like. Although being healthy and fit can be rewarding the true reward is understanding that you are already perfectly made. You already have come with gifts that others need to see. Let the gifts you have been given be seen. Do not be selfish and hold them within. Let others see the Integrity, Authenticity, Playfulness, Inspiration, Passion, Honesty, Openness  Wisdom, Love for God, Commitment to Growth, Compassionate, Appreciation, SUGAR DADDY WEALTH, Listening skills, lack of expectations, Sense of Humor, Confidence, Goal Orientation, Humility, Affection, Kindness, Strength, Motivation, and Active Lifestyle that they have said is attractive!!!!

1 reply
  1. Ashley McTucker
    Ashley McTucker says:

    “When we develop the insides first the outsides follow. When we strive so hard for the outside many times the inside hollows.”

    My dear friend Matt, you couldn’t have written a more perfect blog. This was so absolutely amazing and I was elated to read this. My favorite part was what I quoted from your writing above. There is so much more to be done on the inside and if we just focus on changing the inside for the better by loving ourselves, having compassion and caring for not only our health and life, but caring for those around us as God tells us to, EVERYTHING on the outside will follow. No matter how long it may take. Believing that it’s possible is all that matters. Thank you for this!!!!!


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