40 Playa partner it’s been a while…….

Wow! I am sitting at the computer typing. I am not sure how long is has been but it sure feels nice. Heck I really didn’t even know what I wanted to write about. I thought to myself I have not written in what seems to be weeks. It was my happy place. It was the thing that allowed me to vent, reassess, refocus and move my life forward in a positive direction. Writing required me to step outside my own “life” bubble and observe what really was going on. It was a really good way to get some perspective on my actions. Many times my thoughts did stem from something someone else was doing but it gave me a chance to reflect and correct.

I have a few questions:

  • Do you ever take the time to step outside yourself and reflect on what you are doing and why?
  • When you do take the time to reflect do you make corrections to the errors you find?
  • Are you honest with yourself when you do this exercise?
  • How do you do this?

I have found over the years that when I am criticizing someone for something they are doing it is usually a quality I have that bugs me about me. It is easier to point out someone else than to look in the mirror and take responsibility. I was listening today to Marie Forleo and she was talking about jealousy. She made some real good points about professional jealousy and it got me thinking. She talked about we often have professional jealousy and the one of the ways to combat it is to congratulate the person for their achievements. It was excellent insight. You see I have not been at the computer because I have been working like mad. I have a schedule that is crazy and when I do have a moment of free time all I want to do is sit and be still. However, I rarely do that instead I stay plugged in to a phone or a text or facebook. I never really shut down and this is leading to exhaustion. I love my job. It is always exciting but I am always doing it in some capacity. When I am not at work I have a second job and this is what has been eating at me most recently. I fill the time I have to refresh, live and enjoy with more work. Is this you? If so we are killing ourselves slowly. It’s simple. When we do not refresh we continually operate at a percentage of our max capacity. Therefore the job that we do love gets less than the best. If it is going well now imagine how well it would go if you were refreshed:) You really would not need that second job that most likely is there because it gives you some stability or something you can count on.

Correcting the flaws we see in ourselves can be difficult or it can be easy. It really comes down to your perspective. You see it is never fun to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you have been failing in these areas of your life. It si tough to say I need to be better in this area. It is easier to blame someone else than to change yourself. (or is it). The blame game has gone on for many years. We try to blame someone for being where we are at right now and it temporarily feels good. Even if we are som convincing that others believe that it is this person fault in the end we are left with the same problem. It does not go away. It is an internal thing and the only way it will change is if we change it. How do we go about this? Personal Development!

Correcting the flaws and the utilization of personal development comes down to one thing: Honesty. If we cannot be honest with ourselves than all of this is for naught. We must be able to tell ourselves the truth. It has taken me a while to admit that I have not quit my second job because I am scared that I will not be able to replace that income with my first. It is a classic when I get to this then I will do this. However I will never get to “this” without letting go of this other factor. It is what is holding me back in so many ways. I am tired, overworked, I lack the opportunity to do many of the things I want to do because I am always working. I want to run but I have to go to work, I want to go to the beach but I have to be back for work. Come Monday at 4 am when it is time for bootcamp I am exhausted because I worked all weekend 24 hours of it and tried to still go out and hang with friends. The candle is burnt and my job that I love pays the price as well as my body………”This is the second time in my life that I have done this. I swore last time I would not become a workaholic rather I would work more efficiently. Epic Fail!!!!!!!!”

I reflect by writing. As you can see from reading this I have had something I needed to deal with. I have been wrestling this something for a while now. I know what I have to do but I have yet to pull the trigger. Score 1 for fear and 0 for Mathew. It is so much easier to give advice than to implement it. However, if you are giving advice or your are jealous or bugged by something someone is doing it’s that time to implement. Find what it is that allows you to reflect, search deep within, find the flaw and develop it. Read, write, implement practice. Do what it takes to free yourself.

40 playa partner it’s been a while………..marinating accumulating paper pal………..sorry I had to do that. Old song lyrics that make me happy!


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