She’s out there but your in a bubble

What is it like to live in a world where you seem to do the same thing over and over and over? The world that could best be described and illustrated by the movie “groundhog Day” featuring Bill Murray. Everyday he wakes up and repeats everything he did the previous day. Same interactions, same people, same place, same result only to go home and lie his head and repeat. I feel that many of us are living this sort of life. Stuck in this perpetual motion of monotony. I hear it all the time from clients and friends. I hear it from bystanders that I over hear at a coffee shop. I see it on the TV and more. However, I am not here to talk about others. I am here because this has become my life. I am trapped in a bubble. I am stuck in a world of monotony. Don’t get me wrong it is not bad at all I have a great life except for one thing. I want to fall in love. I want to meet a girl and I cannot do so stuck in a bubble.

Living life in a bubble sounds like a bad thing I know but it is not. Like I said I have a very good life.l In a nutshell I have a very good clientele, my children are amazing, I am part of an amazing community in the spot that I love and I have a home, I’m fed, and I’m clothed with all that I need. That does not sound terrible at all. I am able to take some days off, travel sometimes, do things with family and all the while I still have some time to just chill. For those of you who know me I need my time to chill just a little. To take a break from the monotony and explore. I think that many of you may start to read this and ask the question, ” what are you complaining about?” Sounds like a great life to me. The answer to the question is “yes it is. I have no complaints at all but I want to share it with someone. I want to give this love I have tied up inside me to someone special.” That’s it plain and simple. I want to meet someone.

A little history before I expand on that topic. I grew up in a family where the marriage was nothing short of unstable and lacking teamwork. I saw that marriage fail. I saw another marriage that on the surface looked awesome but maybe not. I grew up thinking that I would never have kids or get married but I did and failed. For a long time after that I felt like I would never again attempt the thought of being g in love. I thought and still sometimes think that my chance came and went. That I will not get a chance to do better, be better and love again or for the first time. That cannot be the case though. Everyone gets a second chance right. I may have even jumped the gun and rushed the first attempt so I am patiently becoming who I am meant to be for whom I am supposed to be with. That is my current thought. My thought is that I am an amazing partner in training. That I am being groomed for someone. Then what is all the talk of the bubble.

The bubble is the small circle of my life. The place that I find myself in. It is like I love in a small town population 100 and everyone already knows everyone and everyone is already taken or off the market. If I am to stay in that small town bubble the mathematical probability of me meeting this woman is .000000000000001% at best. Picture. I wake up in the morning make coffee, sit down and meditate, do yoga and then get ready for work. I read for a few minutes and then I drive 1 block to my work place. Everyone I see there is either a client or someone I have known for a long time. I work for a few hours and then I had to my personal workout. I love this place but lets face it everyone there or at least most of them are already in relationships. That means they are off limits. After I finish my workout and head home I get ready for the second part of my day. I go back to work to teach and train and then I go home eat, stretch veg out, read and go to bed to repeat. When the weekend comes I am either being a parent or off in some random city doing random things. I mean this is the time that I would be able to meet someone but I am so used to keeping to myself I forgot how to be social. This is where the challenge from a good friend of mine to be “unreasonable” needs to be implemented. Do something want outside my comfort zone. I did that only once and although it was a miss it did not kill me so what am I waiting for?

The big question is am I hiding in my bubble? Is this the safe place that one can spend an eternity yet never actually live? Is this the place that I get to incubate and wonder? I know that I will not live in a bubble for ever. There will come a time to burst it but I have to do the poking. It is not going to simply bump into a cactus and burst. I left Arizona years ago and there are not cactus here in Sonoma County. Although I did recently buy two succulents. Maybe they are the key to bursting the bubble. Maybe they are the sign that times are and need to change!